A kink list of preference themes, not activities.
This kink list groups everyday preference language into six themes. It is for consenting adults aged 18 or older. Use it to find words, then take the kink test if you want a private map. It does not tell you who you must be.
It sits beside the kink test on KinkWeave.
What this list is
People look for a kink list when they want names. Many lists are catalogues of acts. This page is not. The six headings are preference themes: ways of noticing what appeals, not a menu of things to do.
This is not a catalogue of activities or a compatibility test. A word on this page is not consent, a diagnosis, or an instruction. Anyone can pause, decline, or change their mind.
Leadership
Interest in taking a mutually agreed leading role.
- Preferring to propose the next step once everyone has agreed to talk.
- Liking to hold a plan so other people can relax into it.
- Finding it easier to speak when you can offer choices rather than wait.
These themes appear on the Leadership axis of the kink test.
Surrender
Interest in freely choosing to receive guidance.
- Preferring someone else to name a starting point you can accept or decline.
- Liking clear guidance more than inventing the frame yourself.
- Finding it easier to notice what you want when the next step is already offered.
These themes appear on the Surrender axis of the kink test.
Sensation
Interest in textures, atmosphere, and comfortable sensory detail.
- Noticing texture, temperature, light, or sound as part of what feels appealing.
- Preferring atmosphere and pacing over a particular role.
- Finding that comfortable sensory detail can matter as much as who leads.
These themes appear on the Sensation axis of the kink test.
Structure
Interest in knowing what to expect, having agreed roles, or sharing familiar rituals.
- Preferring to know the shape of a conversation or encounter in advance.
- Liking familiar rituals or agreed roles more than open-ended improvisation.
- Finding it easier to relax when expectations have already been named.
These themes appear on the Structure axis of the kink test.
Exploration
Interest in thinking about new ideas or changes that everyone involved welcomes.
- Being curious about a new idea without needing to try it.
- Preferring welcome variation over repeating only what is already familiar.
- Finding that interest in a possibility is not the same as agreeing to it.
These themes appear on the Exploration axis of the kink test.
Connection
Interest in emotional warmth and a sense of togetherness.
- Preferring emotional warmth and a sense of togetherness.
- Finding that feeling considered can matter as much as any role.
- Liking to check in, so closeness does not replace the right to pause.
These themes appear on the Connection axis of the kink test.
Before you use the words
Is a kink list the same as a kink test?
No. This kink list names six preference themes in plain language. The kink test asks 30 questions and returns a private map. You can read the list first, or go straight to the test.
Does this list tell me what I should try?
No. The items describe kinds of interest, not instructions or a menu of activities. Imagining a theme is not agreeing to do anything. Anyone can pause, decline, or change their mind.
Is this a BDSM activity list?
No. KinkWeave does not catalogue BDSM roles or acts. The six themes are broad preference axes. People sometimes search for a BDSM test; there is no separate BDSM assessment here.
Read how the kink test questions and scores work.